samedi 17 octobre 2015

Down and Out in London and Paris: A Tale of Two Salisburys

Hi! I'm back like season two. It's currently about 10000 degrees CELSIUS in the City of Angels, so it's hard to imagine that only 9 months ago I was about to lose my friend to hypothermia at Disneyland Paris. 9 months ago?! I am officially 6 countries/3 trips behind on the blog. I told y'all I was a deadbeat... but I (eventually) deliver.

I have planned a trip to Europe with way too many people to count but for whatever reason, the plans never really made it off the ground. Why did I continue doing this?! 1) Cause I'm dumb, but mostly 2) Cause I'm a creep. The thing is, I love picking people's brains. I want to know the who's, the what's, the why's of their lives. I wanted to see the world I love through the eyes of someone I care about. As much as I enjoy traveling alone, I always wondered what it would be like to get drunk and not be found floating down the Seine 3 days later. Before I knew it, plans were in motion once again. I invited my friend Wendy aka Salisbury along and I could not have asked for a better travel partner. We brainstormed for days on end to see where we'd go. Bali? Dublin? Cairo? All very awesome places to go. Aside from the trip to Cancun we had taken two months earlier, it was Wendy's first real trip abroad so we (okay, I) decided to take it easy. Being huge fans of Sherlock, Harry Potter, and James Bond, London was a no brainer. Lots of history, zero language problems, and pubs as far as the eye could see. The choice was clear. Eventually, we decided on splitting the trip between both London and Paris because I'm a total creep and couldn't bear to be so close to my favorite city without visiting. I had been through this before so I did not really believe it was actually happening until we boarded this plane full of muggles. 

Once we landed, I decided to wing it cause I am an asshole who never plans things all the way through. After we got off the bus at Victoria station, my phone decided to play games. Oh? I had no internet, Wendy had too many bags, and --wait for it!-- it started fucking pouring. How were we supposed to find our way to our hotel? I knew it was close, like 0.2 miles close, but I am trash and have no sense of direction so we were in deep trouble. Luckily I remembered my CIA training, so after a little bit of walking up and down the streets, we finally found our home for the next few days. I really wanted Wendy to feel like we were in England, so we booked a stay at the flawless Rubens at the Palace (opposite Buckingham Palace!). Yeah, you read that right. I was neighbors with the Queen. Get on my level! Whenever I travel, I try to stay up as late as I possibly can in order to help my body adjust, so after tossing our bags in our room, we headed out to do a bit of sightseeing (and eating, duh). I was surprised to see that I still remembered my way around. Why couldn't that have kicked in earlier? Useless ass brain, for real.

EXCUSE MY FACE its not like I just got off a million hour flight or anything...

It felt so great to be back here! The weather was perfect, too. I really love when the air is super crisp following rain. I was surrounded by flawless architecture, gorgeous scenery, and best of all--- great company! I was so busy playing tour guide and pointing things out that I didn't even pay attention to the road. I guess this is the part where I tell y'all about how I almost got hit by a double decker bus. If it weren't for Wendy's cat-like reflexes, it would have been curtains for me. I mean, can you imagine a more cliché way to die?  How embarrassing. I was just really stoked to be back in LDN, bruv. Whatever.

Back at the Ruben's, we got settled in for the night. Words cannot begin to describe how amazing this hotel was! The staff, the food, the beds... lawd. Take me back. Top notch from top to bottom, no joke. I really need to know who the person in charge of decorating this place is, though. On one hand, I was totally stoked to have a Picasso Baby in the room:

oh, what a feeling!

.... but there were also horrifying cherubs on my headboard that I just knew were plotting to steal my soul while I slept.

y u do dis?

Having been up for what felt like 3 lifetimes, I was too tired to stay up (and fend off demons) so I accepted my fate and wished for the best.

So begins the story of my triumphant return to London and Paris... these poor cities never knew what hit them.