dimanche 10 mai 2015

Izzyana Jones Visits The Amber Fort

Can you believe I had never heard of the Amber Fort until I got here? The Taj Mahal gets all of the press, but this was a truly spectacular structure. My lack of knowledge ended up working in my favor cause I was absolutely blown away. The group was abuzz at dinner cause we were gonna ride an elephant up to the top. I don't like animals, but I still didn't really want to ride an elephant. It just didn't seem right to me. I am not a PETA weirdo by any means, but I couldn't imagine myself riding an animal. I debated whether or not to do it, as it seemed like everyone was stoked about it. I have seen way too many episodes of When Animals Attack, so I wasn't trying to risk it. At the hotel, I googled how the elephants were treated at the fort. The internet told me that the elephants only do the circuit for a bit (4 trips) because it gets hot very early. I think they only allow the rides for 3 hours or so. I don't believe it, though. I know elephants are sacred, but it still didn't sit right with me. Once we got there, only me and one another person opted out. I was afraid of an elephant seeing a mouse and freaking out, trampling me to death or throwing me off the big ass hill the fort is on. We got up on the platform where the people climb on, and hell nah I wasn't about to get on one. We had to wait til everyone else got on their elephants to hop on the jeep to ride up. While we waited, I watched the mahouts get the elephants ready. The elephants were painted in the prettiest colors! They lined up to carry people to the top. Elephants are fucking beautiful in real life. Eyelash game on 100. In other news: holy fuck, it struck me that there were a bunch of real life elephants in my immediate vicinity! AHHHH.


vendredi 8 mai 2015

Jaipur: The Pink City

Good morning! Jet lag was finally trying to interfere with the alignment of your girl's chakras. I couldn't really sleep, so I harassed Air France about my suitcase all night via Twitter. They were on the case, but it's not like they had a choice. I was going back and forth with AF so much that I even asked the guy what the name of the song was that I heard on the in-flight playlist. He actually responded! Now that's real customer service. It was Day 2 of my trip and I was already tired of wearing the same clothes. I was starting to feel like a cartoon! Man, even though I had showered I still felt super gross. In its natural state, my hair resembles Sideshow Bob's. Since my hairspray was in the Bermuda triangle, I had to put lotion on my noggin to try and keep it in place. I knew this wouldn't stand a chance against the humidity, but I had to do something. I went downstairs to cry into my cappuccino but joke was on me cause some of my group was already down there. They all assured me that you couldn't even tell I was wearing the same thing, which was a total lie. What a bunch of Pinocchios. I looked like the grim reaper! Whatever, at least they tried. I was on my second cappuccino when B, our tour manager, waved me over. MY LUGGAGE HAD ARRIVED! I have never been so happy in my life. They tried to load it up onto the van, but I intercepted it. I wasn't about to wear this déjà vu ass outfit for another second. I ran into the restroom and changed. I felt like I had been reborn. I was like a phoenix rising from the ashes, man. It felt so great to wear clean clothes! Merci beacoup, Air France boyfriend, for making sure my bag got here A$AP.