vendredi 17 avril 2015

For Those That Louvre Long Walks

Hi, I'm back (and still in love with shitty puns). Where did we leave off? Oh, right. Today, we are at the Louvre. Everyone knows what the Louvre is, and if you don't, then I have no idea what to tell you. I will revisit this fucking snoozefest of a museum on the trip report for my next visit. Anyway, the actual building is gorgeous, but many will recognize I.M. Pei's glass pyramid outside. I hate modern art in general, so I'm not crazy about the pyramid. At least it doesn't look like the Pompidou building. I'm too uncultured for this, whatever. I hung out here for a bit drinking a delicious vin chaud. I realized I didn't have any photos of me here, so I had to ask someone to take a picture of me (#foreveralone). Just kidding, I love traveling alone but sometimes your girl needs some pics. Speaking of... Picture time!

the DaVinci Co-Ed
Anyway, keep walking past the Louvre on the right hand side, along Quai François Mitterand, and cross over to Notre Dame at Pont Neuf. If this sounds too hard, just follow along the Seine. You will then see Notre Dame. I will also talk about the inside of this building on my next visit, cause I was just out here for a walk. I used to live here back when I occupied the bell tower, but those are tales for another time. My tiny grinch heart was happy to see this giant tree outside! I really like these little holiday touches around the city. We've gone over this already; they warm my black barren heart. I already have pictures of this building, but this time it had the tree outside so I snapped a pic. I felt like that episode of The Simpsons (or Les Simpson, I GUESS) where Smithers ignores the Lisa Lionheart doll to buy Malibu Stacy cause she has a new hat. BUT IT HAS A TREE OUTSIDE! I'm such a knobhead.

As we continue past the gardens, we will get to Pont de l'Archeveché aka the Love Lock Bridge aka you guys are assholes so cut this stupid shit out. You would think that as a fan of Oscar's kiss-covered grave I would love this, but the truth is it looks really fucking ugly and out of place. Most of all, I am starting to see this on random bridges and fences in other parts of the world. This is almost as awful as the selfie stick. What a cancer. Anyway, I was really enjoying being here during the winter. There were not too many people around and at times it felt like I had the entire city to myself. I Am [truly] Legend.



As dreary as my love life
Literally across the street from Notre Dame is the world famous bookstore, Shakespeare and Company. I probably learned to read before I could eat solid foods, so as a lifelong bookworm this is definitely my kinda place. This is a must visit for me when I am in the city. On this particular trip, I picked up a copy of The Catcher in the Rye for my best friend Cisco. I love that they stamp the books; it is a nice added touch. They are the perfect souvenir (for the literate people in your life). I also got a copy of my favorite book for myself, but that's none of your business so I won't tell you what it is. Just kidding, it's A Little Princess. Hey, man, I never said I was an intellectual. It's a book I hold near and dear plus my pretend boyfriend directed the movie.

Continue walking past Notre Dame as you walk back the way you came from, toward the Louvre. After a while, you will start to see a famous sight. Can you make it out in the distance?

It's none other than this lovely little pile of scrap metal. The Eiffel Tower is always a wonderful sight. I never thought I'd see it in real life, so the novelty never wears off for me. The detail is incredible and I can stare at it forever. Well not literally, but you get what I mean. It was erected for the 1889 World's Fair and at the time it was considered vulgar and hideous due to the materials used. After the exhibition, they almost tore it down but decided to use it as a radio antenna. I am probably making this up. Anyway, this is a cultural icon and one of the most visited monuments in the world. Did you guys know someone is actually "married" to the tower? Her last name is Eiffel and everything. Girl, I guess. I want to laugh but it is just so nutty that I kinda feel bad. I swear I am not making it up, though. Anyway, I love this structure (not enough to marry it) so I am glad it exists. Gustave Eiffel, you da real MVP.

Yup, still cold.

At this point, feel free to hop on the metro to go back to wherever you are staying. Once again, I hadn't eaten and didn't feel like sitting anywhere. I stopped by my home away from home, Carrefour, and bought some "food". Man, I thought a dinner here was never second best? That's what I get for being lazy.


das racist
I ate my poor man's dinner and watched a double feature of I Am Legend and Planet of the Apes dubbed in French. It was the perfect way to end my trip to Paris. The next day I had to be up bright and early to catch my flight to New Delhi! HELL YEAH! You know it's late when even the telly tells your dumb ass to go to bed and give it a rest.

On the next episode: India punches me in the face as soon as I board the plane. Oh, brudder.

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