dimanche 8 mars 2015

Wilde Times at Père-Lachaise

Bonjour! What a great morning. As soon as I got up, I watched another episode of Arrow. The only thing more important to me than Starling City is Paris, so I opened the window and was greeted by a flawless view.


I fucking love Paris, for real. Room temperature sodas and all. Have you ever wondered why Paris is the beigest city in the game? All of the buildings look the same and you have Georges Haussmann (and Napoleon III) to thank for that. N3 decided to renovate the city and enlisted Haussmann to make it work. This was one of the biggest public works projects to hit the scene. I won't bore you with the details, but this is why Paris looks the way it does today. From the scenic parks to the wide avenues, Haussmann heaven gives Paris its timeless look. There is only one thing they forgot to build:


SOME FUCKING ELEVATORS!

I swear, elevators are unicorns here. This is what I had to deal with the entire time. There is actually a small elevator at the hotel, but the stairs are much faster. Can you believe that I wasn't even on the highest floor?! Still, I don't really mind the stairs. What is the point of traveling if everything looks the same? I don't mind huffing and puffing, I'm in Paris!

So, remember I told you guys I was thirsty? Across the street from my hotel was a little Carrefour, which is the French equivalent of a Target. It was about 9 a.m. and I thought it was weird that the store still wasn't open. I figured it was no big deal and headed out to the cemetery.

Père Lachaise is one of Paris's most famous cemeteries. It is really, really big! Disneyland big. The first time I came here, I even had a picnic. Everyone does it! Don't look at me like that. I mean, if you are going to hang out at a cemetery, you might as well do it here. You'd be in very good company! There are really important people buried here, from the gawd Frédéric Chopin to La Môme herself-- Edith Piaf. Jim Morrison of the Doors is also buried here. In fact, his is one of the most popular graves here. I don't give a care, but maybe you do. The cemetery is divided into sections and they have signs up showing you where people of note are buried.


Anyway, I could go on forever but I won't. There is one person buried here who matters most to me above all. To get to his grave, get off at the Gambetta stop. I am assuming you are coming on the metro, cause this cemetery is in the 20th. You can also take Bus #69 (stop it) from the Eiffel Tower. Coming in through the Gambetta entrance allows you to enter at the back of the cemetery and directly to my boy's grave. From here, you can explore the rest of the cemetery walking downhill. Can you believe I did this the opposite way on the hottest day on Earth? Please learn from my mistakes!

So who is this mystery man? Let's make our way to see Division 89s most popular resident.


Still no idea? It's Oscar Wilde, of course! I am a super huge fan. This was the 114th anniversary of his death, so I was lucky to be here for that. His grave is probably the second most popular, even though it deserves to be #1. People come from all over the world to kiss his grave. Well, at least they used to. A few years ago, they put up a plexiglass wall to deter people from kissing it because it was eroding. I made it here before the glass was up and I have to say the glass is hideous. Sometimes people leave passages from his awesome work or leave messages expressing their love. It's really cool. If there is anyone who would appreciate the kisses, it's definitely Oscar. Anyway, here are some pics.








Of course, there are many other interesting ornate graves here. It's such a beautiful place! You can literally spend hours here admiring the scenery. I will give y'all a little glimpse of the cemetery in another post. For now, I continue my story. It was now past noon and I was still thirsty. I was also wondering what Arrow was up to. I popped into McDonald's to get a room temperature Coca Light since European restaurants hate ice more than they hate me. The line was long as hell so I changed my mind, but before I left I caught a glimpse of this. 


Bruh, they have my PSG lads out here at Chez McDo! You mean to tell me I can get a cleat-shaped makeup bag or a soccer ball with my food? That's a real happy meal. America, get it together! I was running short on time cause I had an appointment with my bff the Phantom of the Opera at the Palais Garnier aka the Paris Opera. I was so sure I'd find somewhere to grab a drink along the way.

Spoiler Alert: I didn't.

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