samedi 28 février 2015

50 Shades of Cancun

We had been busy little bees in and around Cancun the entire time we were there. We decided that today, OUR LAST DAY, we would hang out on the beach and catch some rays. We are hardworking individuals (okay, well at least we pretend to be) and we wanted to relax. Today's agenda was to just chill and do a bunch of nothing. I don't tan, but I needed to catch a bit of color cause my legs were looking pasty. We had breakfast and walked down to the beach (a whole 20 steps) and set up our beach chairs. We had our snacks, shades, and commentaries ready. I really love people watching and it is even better to do it in paradise!

sharing a DC w your man.
waves deep as Redondo Beach

What a perfect way to end our trip, right? Wrong. Did you forget who this blog belongs to?! Something had to happen and of course, it snuck up on me. As you can see, I am a pale individual. The only thing uglier than tanning in general is a body with tan lines, so I take extreme measures to prevent that from happening. I am also mildly allergic to the sun. You read that right. Hell nah. Well, we sat out there chatting about life, going for a dip, and reading our books-- and in between that I continuously slathered my body in sunscreen. I mean I must have done it on the hour, every hour. I was not fucking around. There was a couple who set up shop near us on the beach around the same time we got there. I saw that the guy was starting to get realllllly red, so I took this as a sign for us to get moving. I am glad we did. It was about to be lunchtime, so we walked up to our room. On the way up, I felt mild pain and started to get itchy. How could that be? Surely I wasn't burned. Dear readers, nothing would prepare me for what happened next.

I started to get sleepy and really, really cold. Like, shivering. I took a nap and went down to dinner, but at this point my face was on fucking fire. You know when a cartoon character looks up through a chimney and their face gets covered in soot? That's what my face looked like, except that instead of being black, it was bright red. Fire engine red. I swear it was burgundy in some areas. I looked like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins. FUCK! I ended up sleeping on and off for the rest of the day, shivering my ass off, and feeling like I was going to barf my entire life out. When I googled my symptoms later, I realized I had sun poisoning. I could have died!!! Who did I have to thank for this?

Whoever the fuck made this bottle of sour cream that was masquerading as sunscreen, THAT'S WHO. 

My sunburn was so severe that I legit thought I had to go to a burn unit. Luckily, it did not blister. I was PISSED. I should have brought my own sunscreen from home instead of trying to paint with all the colors of the wind. Never again. Cancun is closer to the equator, so the sun was like the one in Super Mario Bros 3. You know what I am talking about. The one with the attitude! I could feel the cancerous cells forming already. I spend all my time avoiding the sun and then this happens. I didn't wanna look like an old leather boot!!! I looked like Charmander. Oh, but it doesn't end here. Picture this: a humid ass day where you are sweating buckets, your entire body is burned, and you are dragging your luggage. I decided I wasn't going to bother with the overhead bins on the plane since it was so painful to move a muscle. I did something I never do... I checked my bag (This would haunt me on my next trip. Of course it would.) and charged it to the game. My face was bright red and I was so embarrassed. I looked like the red devil face emoji in the flesh. To make matters worse, nobody at the airport was sunburned. I felt so stupid! We boarded our plane and when we started to descend for our layover in Denver, guess what I saw? It wasn't a man on the wing... it was much more surprising:

I mean, what else did I expect Denver to look like in November?! Of course it looked like this. I was headed directly into a winter wonderland and had the nerve to be burned to a crisp. We got quite a few stares and one man even asked Wendy if we had just come from the Virgin Islands hahaha. It was hilariously bad. I got home and immediately filled a spray bottle with vinegar. I smelled like a pickle but it felt great! Plus it got that sunburn the fuck up out of there. I had to call out of work the next day because the only way I was going to show up was looking like this:

And that just wasn't an option. I spent the day spraying myself liberally, binge watching House of Cards, and drinking gallons of water. I was actually really bummed because less than 3 weeks later, I was off to India. It seemed so cruel that this would happen right before embarking on a trip I had dreamed about my entire life. I spent the next week hydrating like crazy and flaking like a damn croissant, but I had minimal damage. By the end of the week, I was back to my (significantly darker) self. Cancun was so much fun and I realized that Wendy was a great travel companion. This only made me look forward to our Euro trip even more! Our trip was getting nearer and the anticipation was building.

On the next episode of my dumb ass life, I set off on the trip of a lifetime-- INDIA! Do I even need to tell you that something disastrous happens? Stay tuned!

Aucun commentaire:

Enregistrer un commentaire